The New American Family

It used to be Mom, Dad, two kids, and a dog. Now you need to include the Blackberry and the cellphone into the mix too. Once again, we seem to be moving further and further from traditional family values in this country.

Whatever happened to working 9-5? Whatever happened to vacations? Whatever happened to coming home from work and taking a break from your boss, your job, and your professional responsibilities? Why can't we just be people WITH people anymore? The trends I'm seeing all around me are very disturbing.

I'm a teacher. I work from about 6:30 to 2:30 every day. After that, I go home and hang with the kids. I make dinner before my wife gets home and the four of us eat dinner together, as a family, nearly every night of the year. How many families can say this? I wish more could.

Some might say that if I had a more demanding job, I might not have as much time with my family. Maybe that's true, but maybe that's because I CHOSE this job and chose to stay in it for those very reasons! I once had an opportunity to have my salary doubled working in another field. That's a lot to turn down, but ultimately I knew that I enjoyed the time off that teaching afforded me. And though I may not command a huge salary in the professional world, I have time to be with the people I love. Isn't that what's important? America doesn't seem to promote that.

I wish I could go out to the mall and see people holding hands, instead of one window shopping virtually alone while the other checks email and texts away on their Blackberry. I wish I saw fathers at baseball practice WITHOUT their phones on their belts answering calls when they could be watching their kids grow and learn and play. I wish the world around me emphasized the importance of love and parenthood instead of money.

Right Shoulder Blues

My shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad.
My shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad.
I said my shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad
Had to pick up the phone and cry to my dad.
My shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad.

I'm sick and tired of a-wearin' this sling.
I'm sick and tired of a-wearin' this sling.
I'm so sick and tired of a-wearin' this sling
Wanna take off and burn this god-damned thing.
I'm sick and tired of a-wearin' this sling.

The doctor says that it's gonna get well.
The doctor says that it's gonna get well.
The doctor says that it's gonna get well
Didn't tell me that I'd have to go through hell.
The doctor says that it's gonna get well.

I'm havin' to learn how to use my left hand.
I said I'm havin' to learn how to use my left hand.
I'm havin' to learn how to use my left hand
for eatin' and a-shavin' and a-wipin' my ...
I've had to learn how to use my left hand.

All I wanna do is throw a ball to my boy.
All I really wanna do is throw a ball to my boy.
All I wanna do is throw a ball to my boy.
Such a little thing would bring me so much joy.
All I wanna do is throw a ball to my boy.

My shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad.
My shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad.
I said my shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad
Had to pick up the phone and cry to my dad.
My shoulder's hurtin' and it hurts so bad.

Things I like... Things You Should Like

The Avett Brothers are my most recent musical passion. These North Carolinians are the most honest, genuine, and original performers that I've heard in a long time. It seems like the longer people are on this earth, the harder it is to find something truly new. To one degree or another, it seems like everything sounds like something else. The Avett Brothers, however, have the most unique sound I've heard in a while.

Their style has been called some sort of bluegrass/punk/country/rock hybrid. Their shows are sweaty and energetic outburts of music, emotion, and creativity. I've never seen anything like them and I can't get enough of the Avett Brothers right now.

What I like a lot about them is that they just seem real. Truthful. Their music clearly defies most genres, so they're certainly not catering to the "sensibilities" of the general public. They're lyrics are fantastic too... poetic, yet spoken in a plain and honest language from an everyman's perspective. Their vocals will break your heart too. Though it's pretty much a shared venture, I'd say that Scott Avett sings a larger percentage of the leads. His voice is beautiful, tender, and haunting all at once. When I first checked them out, I actually thought I might not be able to listen to them for very long. I thought the vocals might depress me. Over time, though, I've simply come to appreciate the great depth and tone of his voice. They also have enough upbeat songs whose energy makes you forget everything else.

Below are the lyrics to "Tear Down the House," from the Avett Brothers' most recent release, "The Gleam II" EP. The imagery in the words is so vivid. You can picture nearly every single line that Seth Avett sings with a voice nearly as beautiful as his brother's, but certainly as effective. There's no doubt that you have felt like "collapsing and cryin' at the moon" at one point or another in your life too. It's a wonderful song.

"Tear Down the House"

Tear down the house
that I grew up in.
I'll never be the same again.
Take everything that I’ve collected
and throw it in a pile.
Bulldoze the woods
that I ran through.
Carry the pictures of me and you.
I have no memory of who I once was
and I don't remember your name.

Park the old car
that I love the best.
Inspection's due and it won’t pass the test.
It’s funny how I have to put it to rest
and how one day…I will join it.

I remember crying over you
and I don't mean like a couple of tears
and then I'm blue.
I’m talkin’ about collapsing
and screaming at the moon,
but I'm a better man
for having gone through it.
Yes, I'm a better man
for having gone through…

Ever since I learned how to curse
I’ve been using those sorry old words.
But I’m talkin’ to these children
and I’m keeping it clean.
I don’t need those words
to say what I mean.
No, I don’t need those words
to say what I mean.

Tear down the house
that I grew up in.
I'll never be the same again.
Take everything that I used to own
and burn it in a pile,
and bulldoze the woods
that I ran through.
Carry the pictures of me and you.
I have no memory of who I once was
and I don't remember your name.

You should also check out their website and watch the video for "Murder in the City," another haunting track from The Gleam II. If it doesn't make you cry, I don't know what will.

http://theavettbrothers.com/site.php?em3149=191223_-1__0_~0_-1_2_2009_0_0&content=videos

Another Animated Lesson

"Kung Fu Panda" was one of my favorite movies of 2008. Like most animated films these days, it has something for everyone. There are thrilling scenes of action, stunning and beautiful visuals, hysterical comedy, and serious life-lessons. I always think it's a shame that there are people out there who refuse to pay attention to anything that's animated. These films and shows often contain far more depth and enjoyment than most live-action movies.

One of the prevalent themes of the movie is about accepting one's fate and realizing that you can't control everything. Master Oogway, the ancient turtle mentor of the story, tells his pupil a memorable line at one point in the story. He says, "The past is history. The future is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." I LOVE that. We all spend so much time worrying about what has already happened and worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow that we barely enjoy the moments that we're in and the people who are with us during those times. Once again, a cartoon kids' movie has given us a real nugget of philosophy to chew on.

The Unmatched Palette pt 2

A while back I wrote about the incredible beauty in the world, specifically regarding the wealth of luminous colors that one can find in nature. I am constantly in awe of this.

Recently I saw this picture of a seahorse in an issue of National Geographic and I was almost breathless. Just look at it. How strange. It's such a bizarre little creature. Look at the colors of its markings and their intricate speckled pattern. I don't really have much to say on this, but it's such a gift to be able to behold such a thing.

Things I like... Things You Should Like

I recently read The Road by Cormac McCarthy. It is easily one of the most gripping and intense books I have ever read. I highly recommend it.

The basic story of the novel is that in some post-apocalyptic land, a father and son engage in a harrowing cross-country trek to what they hope will be a better life. Though exactly what has happened to the world is never explained, there is no food, no vegetation, no sun, no fuel, and certainly no order. Armed and evil bandits roam the highways, robbing, killing, and even eating anyone they come across. It's literally every man for himself.

In explaining it, I feel like I'm retelling the story of Mad Max or every other "The Day After" story you've ever read or seen, but this book was really different. The focus of the story is not so much on what has happened, but on the relationship between the father and his young son and how the man is trying desperately to keep him safe in a terribly scary and dangerous world. There's one scene where the man goes over exactly how the boy should kill himself in the event that something happens to the father and the boy is alone and in danger. It was so hard to read and to consider having the same conversation with my own young sons.

I don't want to say too much, but I couldn't read this book fast enough. You tear through it to see if these very real characters will survive. You read it to keep them alive.

Only a Memory

My grandmother died recently. She lived a good long life and passed away at almost 96 years of age. I was lucky enough to have a grandparent for a very long time.

Recently my mother gave me some old photos that my grandmother had displayed in her house. Though I might be a bit of a nostalgic person, I'd never classify myself as sentimental. I'm not one for keepsakes and when I had opportunities to take some mementos that had belonged to my grandparents, I politely declined. On one hand some old pair of glasses seemed like a poor substitute for the person who wore them. I also felt selfish for even considering such a thing. I'd had a grandparent up until I was thirty seven years old. Growing up, I had friends who never even had grandparents into our teens!?! Here I was a grown man, married with children fortunate enough to have GREAT grandparents. How could you want more than that?

Looking at the photo posted above, though, really struck me the other day. In it are my grandparents standing in front of their house. You can see the beautiful flowers my grandmother was so proud of. You can see the yard that my grandfather toiled over when they'd first moved in, hoeing out rocks, and digging out trees and vines and other bramble so that thick green grass could grow. There is my grandmother in vibrant pink pants. She favored pinks and purples in much of her clothing. They're both smiling, my Pop Pop's arm around her shoulder. It captures so many of my memories of who they were. Of all the old photos I got, this is the one that recalls so much for me. The pictures of them in their youth may be great historical heirlooms, but this one shows the people I knew, in the time I knew them.

But staring at it a few days ago, I realized that it's all gone. The people in the picture are both dead now. The house is gone, torn down by a real estate developer. The flowers are gone. The yard is different now, having been changed for new lots. Everything in that picture is just a memory. In a sense, it's like it never happened. Physically, I can't even prove that it did. If you took the photo away, in a way I actually couldn't.

That's what struck me. I wasn't sad or grieving for the loss or even necessarily reflecting on all the times I spent with the people in that picture and in the place that it captured. It was just strange to realize the nature of this life. We're here. We live. We die. And in the big scheme of things, it's really not that much time. How can it be that we die? How can it be that some people walk this earth and lead such powerful lives, even if they're meaningful to just a few people, like my grandparents were, and then they disappear? Forever. No trace of them left behind. Of course I realize that love goes on and memories remain, but it's just strange that nothing else does. All of life is just a memory. When there's nothing left when it's all over, how can you even prove your worth when you lived?

Don't take this as some suicidal endnote. I'm not getting all existential either in pondering the meaninglessness of life. Sometimes things happen that make us look at the world in ways we had never previously considered. I'm just thinking out loud here.